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As we get older, we learn how to dust ourselves off and move on. That doesn't mean no one ever broke up with me in the subway station while pretending to wait for a train, or no one I was seeing ever had two girls come out of his dorm room during a 3 a.m. "Honey," I jump in, my hand on Mary-Margaret's arm, "I'm 42 and nothing like this has ever happened to me, either."
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Mom glances furtively toward her car, hoping for a clean getaway. "Mom," this big girl says in a tiny voice, "Nothing like this has ever happened to me before." We never talk about what is probably the greatest risk: getting your feelings hurt. When we talk about the risks of dating young, we discuss issues of consent, violence and disease. Rumours about "rainbow parties" – where all the girls wear a different colour of lipstick on purpose – or rainbow bracelets where each colour represents a different sexual act – continue to shock us. When my college roommate was in Grade 7, a guy named Romeo came up to her in the schoolyard and said: "Tell your friend Violet not to wear so much makeup. He isn't even home to greet her and her stonewashed short shorts. My blue-eyed skateboarding son couldn't be bothered to give her the correct time. Thought about cool conversation topics, maybe even practised a few giggles in the mirror. Spent a few extra hours with the blow dryer and hair iron. Probably #instagrammed #these #shorts and sent them to #her #friends for #approval. Mary-Margaret must have been looking forward to this day for a while. Instead, Mary-Margaret's mother says: "Well, I'm going to a picnic with my boyfriend and his kids, in uh, about 15 minutes, so, uh …" she looks at me hopefully. If I were Mary-Margaret's mother, I would brightly smile and say, "Oh, okay, sorry for the confusion, see you at 5 p.m." and whisk my daughter away in my car for a quick lecture about the reliability of boys. He also probably said his math homework was handed in. "Mom," she says, looking down at her mom, "I'm sure he said to be here by 1."
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"Nice to meet you, Mary-Margaret," I smile. "Um, I'm like Mary-Margaret? Benji like invited me to the uh, barbecue?" Both are looking at me as if I should know who they are. Standing on my front stoop is a freshly blow-dried 12-year-old in high-waisted stonewashed shorts and a floral tank top. I brush the onion tears from my face, wipe my hands on my pink flannel pyjamas and open the door. and I am slicing red onions very much ahead of schedule. It's a sunny Saturday in June and we are hosting our first barbecue of the season.
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